Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize