Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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