the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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