I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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