I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
