his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
