He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
