wakey wakey hands off snakey
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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