Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize