Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
