he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
