Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
