She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
