She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
honey bunches of taint.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
