Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
