Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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