I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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