how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't notice because vodka
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
