I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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