My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
