that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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