Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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