please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
