How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
