I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
