I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
