I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Watching her eat just hurts me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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