why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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