YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
