I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
