I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
