Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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