The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
