Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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