I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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