i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My dick has a subreddit
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
