I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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