I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize