I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
