Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
