I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
