omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
