Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
