What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize