After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
