I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Found your dick twin last night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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