She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
