This is not my ceiling
Say something about gay babies.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize