I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
