Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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