You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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