the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
