What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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