I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
