Fine. I'll sleep in my office
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
