She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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