oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just want to make out with him forever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
