I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize