census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry my hands just texted you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
