even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
