i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
