Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
