He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
