All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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