i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize