At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
